Joy and an Audience

Lately, I have had such a peace. I can feel the love of the Lord. There are so many things to do and worry about, but I just have a calm attitude for them. A few days back I had one of my "philosophical meltdowns." I am one who thinks about, worries about, tries to solve, and gets consumed by the problems of the world. I just want to do something but am lost about what to do. I get tired of these moments, and have lately been troubled by what I need to do as a Christian. I know that this world is sinful, and I also know that as a follower of Christ I am not to follow the world, to not be a part of it. I have been wondering if I need to care so much, if I should just let the world destroy itself and look forward to Heaven. I finally reached out to a mentor as to what I should do and got great comfort from the answer. To reaffirm the answer, the entry for today in My Utmost for His Highest talked specifically about getting consumed by the world's problems. We must always turn to Jesus and His peace.

My mentor and Chambers gave me the entire picture. When we are consumed by worry, fear, and hopelessness, we must turn to Jesus; we must run to our Father. We must cry in His arms and let Him comfort us. When we are getting bogged down by the troubles of the world, we are actually being stubborn and even prideful. When I am going through those feelings and thoughts, I am actually believing that I can actually do something all by myself. I think that I am strong enough, smart enough, powerful enough to set the world right. Again, I am like a person crawling lost in the desert. I desperately need some water, and Jesus offers cool, refreshing, uplifting water, but I am determined to get to the water that I see in the mirage before me. What I see could be a mirage or it could even be real, but the point is that I am refusing even better water that Jesus is offering and bringing to my exhausted self. Let go, give up, we can't make it to the mirage. Take the water of Jesus, let Him comfort and take care of you.

The moment His water of peace touches your lips, everything changes. The problems of the world are still there, but instead of looking up at them from your hands and knees, you can now stand with His strength and look at it from a different angle. You don't need to detach yourself from the world as I was thinking; you don't need to be consumed with the breaking worry of solving the problems, though. He fills you with peace, love, and joy. You are lifted up with the joy of life. Maybe I can make a difference and alleviate the world of some problem, but that is not what my life is for. He gave me life to enjoy the beauty that He created around me and to love Him. I am filled with such an uplifting compassion for His creation. I see others who are troubled and want to dance around them until they join me in admiring God's awesomeness.

Don't be afraid to show this joy. Britt Nicole has a great song called "The Lost Get Found" saying exactly that: don't hold back, God's love and joy from your audience. And who is your audience? You never know.

Two days ago, I almost got hit by a huge red truck in the Walmart parking lot. I was parked two slots down from the cart cage, and the slot between the cart cage and my car was empty. Well, I put my cart up and turned to go to my car when some one behind me suddenly shouts, "look out!" I look up and step back just in time for this truck to pull into the empty spot I was just about to cross. I was literally a foot away from being hit by this truck swinging into the spot. I look back at the guy who had warned me, a little shock by what had just happened. "Girl! He almost hit you!" the man exclaimed. I just give a shocked laugh and reply, "yeah, that was close." I quickly walk around the truck, get into my car, and thanked God for saving me. I wasn't filled with anger toward this driver, though. I wasn't hidden by anything, so I was a little peeved that he hadn't watched for me or waited for me to cross the spot, but I wasn't angry. We were both at fault: I wasn't paying attention, and the driver was on his cell phone coming from behind me. We both should have been more attentive to our surroundings.

I turned my car on and was about to leave when he opens his door and steps out, still on the phone. When those around me are outside of their cars, I will wait until they are in the cars or out of the way, just in case. Well, the thought ran through my head to just go ahead and back up, maybe my side mirror will get close to him and spook him like he had done to me. I waited though. I was safe, so no more action needed to be related to the event, and I didn't think that God would condone such a responce. Waiting was a very good decision. He opens his back door, and twin six-year-old boys hop out. What if I had banged on this guy's car, cussed at him, and made a scene? What kind of example would I have beento him and those boys? if I had suddenly backed up, what if those boys had jumped out right behind me? What about the guy who had shouted at me; what kind of example to him would I have been? I could have talked about what a jerk the driver was; the guy who shouted was probably expecting it. I'm not saying that I am a saint in this situation; ha, I was more shocked than anything else. God gave me His protection and His joy, and he also reminded me that we never know who is watching.

Science or God?

I see God everywhere! Sometimes, I just get giddy with all of the wonders God has surrounded me with. In relation to this question, my opinion is that science proves God. Now, I know that we aren't supposed to be proving God. That goes against the whole faith thing as I went into a few entries ago. But it is one of those things where the more and more you study the creation, you can see the Creator. It seems a terrible stereotype that scientists and those in the medical professions are prime people to not be religions. I come from a line of people in the medical field and plan to continue in the tradition. I also love to learn about how things work in this amazing world. It saddens me that people would expect my family and me to not be religious just because we know how things work. If anything, it makes me more religious because I realize how fragile and complex life is. This reality cannot just be a random accident!

Being a General Science major, I am putting my thumb into every science pie that is out there. I am studying Chemistry, Physics, Astronomy, Biology...Now, everyone who has taken a science, I'm sure you remember that whatever science it was, the professor was certain that that science was the correct one with the others just being tangents from that main field. It is actually a funny battle to listen to. But back to my point, as I study all of these different sciences, I can see the beauty, complexity, and mind-blowing miracle of the world we live in. Everything just works together too perfectly to be randomly made. From Chemistry, how could the Periodic Table have been mapped so easily?! Every element falls into its own special place in this alphabet of creation's ingredients so perfectly. I will save you from a chemistry lesson, but just realize that the way the elements (the very things that make us) work together is way too organized. (For one example, the numbers in the corner aren't just numbers for each element, they are how many protons make the element; a small change that makes a BIG difference, a whole new element!)

I can talk about example after example of little instances in these sciences where a Creator is evident. Just look at the big picture (this Nebula is actually called the Eye of God), beyond our world, beyond our universe, beyond our galaxy! Space's vastness, magnitude, and beauty will really put you in your place. It is nothingness, and yet full of everything. It is chaos, and yet order. It is the boundary, and yet still expanding. It is dark, and yet full of light. Now zoom into our world. How can it be that we are such a unique planet?! There isn't another planet that we know of like Earth. Everything fell into perfect place for life to thrive. The distance from the Sun was perfect. Just look at our neighbors, Venus and Mars. One is a ball of gas, and the other is a frozen mass. And then, the tilt of our planet was just right. There are so many things that are just right.

Now, lets zoom in closer to the microscopic level. As I said before with the Periodic Table, all of those little bitty atoms are working together so well that life can continue. I could go on and on about how miraculous life is! Just look at our bodies: how we heal, how we think, how we move, how we breathe, how we reproduce! Is there anything that we have created that works as well as living organisms?! Here is one specific example of the little things that show our Creator: Laminin! The video that is linked explains everything, so I won't tell you what it is. This stuff is SO amazing, though. And God is SO evident in this little thing.

I believe that God created everything for us. He created us in His own image, so we want to create like He creates, and we want to understand everything around us because He understands it. I picture Him as a parent giving His children a clue for a treasure hunt He created for them. The more and more we understand how things work around us, we see more and more the design, the unbelievable attention to detail, the breath-taking wonder of it all. Every time I am blown away by the beauty of science, I just want to cry out "Thank you, God! For such a discovery!"

For a beautiful story of creation, here is the Creation Story

Got A Few Questions?

So, while my last post was about not arguing, I would still like to share a few things to encourage others about the Christian opinion. There are a few links here that I really, really like, and there are a few questions that I think I have somewhat of an answer to.

Question 1: If God knows everything, how do I have free will?
I have puzzled over this question for some time. It does seem contradictory to say that God knows everything that is, was, and will be while also saying that He respects our free will. I will admit that the answer to this one came to me while daydreaming a little bit in church. I was still thinking about God, just where He would take the story I am writing instead of listening to my pastor. I have kind of been in a stuck spot. You could call it writer's block, but it has been very long term. I was asking God what I should write and where I should take the story, when I was suddenly hit with a thought. We are God's story! 'Well, duh, Amanda. I knew that. God's tapestry and all of that...' But the meaning of that statement just lit up for me. From an author's point of view, I have created these characters in my story. They look like, act like, and desire what I write for them to. I know what I want them to do; I know what their purpose is; I know what has happened, is happening, and will happen to them. Basically, these poor characters have to do what I want them to and have no free will, or so it seems...If you read a story, do the characters seem forced to do anything by the author? In a really good story, do you realize that there is an author behind the story's events? Maybe I just get too into stories, but I forget that the story I am reading was completely dictated by the author. The characters reason themselves through their choice. Every action is believable and completely backed by the character's own opinion. There is no 'and suddenly he went to Africa for no reason what so ever, he was just commanded by an unknown source.' It is 'he suddenly went to Africa because of the urgent letter from his sister and HE CHOSE TO GO.'

God may know what will happen to us and what we are going to do, but we still have our own free choice. It isn't that He knows what you are going to do because He is forcing you, and you have no free will. He knows what you are going to do because He knows you so well. The story about the Pharaoh in the Moses story always bugged me. In the story, Pharaoh repeatedly decided to listen to the Lord and let the Isrealites go from their Egyptian slavery after the terrible plagues, but then the story goes that 'God hardened his heart' (this is the wording from the Bible I read as a kid) and he changed his mind. I thought, 'poor guy, he had no chance because God was just making him ask for more punishment.' Now, I understand that it was just the way God made him; God put that stubbornness in him, and he used it against God. God knew what he was going to do, but Pharaoh chose to do it.

Question 2: Why does God allow suffering in the world?
This is directly related to the question above. Get back to the story metaphor. In a story, honestly, all of the bad things that happen to the protagonist are all known and "allowed" by the author, but it isn't the author that causes them in the story. No, it is mistakes or bad choices made by that protagonist, a flaw and evil in their character that is haunting them; it is from the evil in others as well. We are human, so we have both good and evil in us. It isn't compatible with God's perfect ways to just, poof!, get rid of all the evil in us; that would completely get rid of our choice to follow Him or the Evil One. Bad things happen because of our own actions and choices or the actions and choices of others. The good news is that God doesn't allow these bad things to overtake us. He is always there to support you, to help point you in the right direction. In the Bible, Psalm 30, Phillippians 1:19, Hebrews 4:16, and Mark 10:27 all tell us that God will help us. There is always a way out. Also, just think that those bad times in the story are times where the protagonist can shine at their brightest or fall to their lowest, but in some form or fashion, help is there with them.

'Well, what about cancer?! A lot of that stuff wasn't caused by bad choices!' There was a letter that rounded the emails that answered this question better than I can. There was also Logan, the Sky Angel Cowboy, who gives us God's comforting message. Just remember that evil causes pain, suffering, and trials, and God causes all of the good in our lives. He also gives us the comfort and support to fight evil. And always remember that good does prevail in the end. Just read the book of Revelations.

An Arguement About Arguement

You know, I started out with a different purpose for this entry. I was going to find videos on YouTube proving the existence of God. I was searching and searching and then, it dawned on me: this argument has always been argued. There have been those on both sides of the fence, shouting their defenses. Who was I to think that I could be the logical, passionate, all-winning voice that swayed everyone to the Lord's side?! It was a prideful ambition, and i hope you can forgive me! No, as much as I'd like to be that one, I won't be, and no one will be. The only human being with that power is Jesus Himself, and sadly, it seems as if even HE can't sway some people's opinions, not until it is too late. It's not a hopeless case, though. Jesus commanded in the Great Commission, "Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age." Amen. (Matthew 28:18-20).



I saw both videos arguing for and against God, and realized that if we plan to ever let the Lord save people through us Christians, we have to stop arguing. We must remember that what we have is the ultimate love, and that love comes through faith. Argument is a complete 180 from faith.

Think of someone who loves you very much and is illogically generous: parents, siblings, spouse, child, friend...because they love you, you trust them to be there for you, to be there in tough times and in fantastic celebrations. You would trust them with your life because you know they love you. Now, look at that person through a stranger's eyes. This person could be in the car next to them, in line behind them, in the movie theater seat in front of them. Would this person trust their life with your loved one? Absolutely not! You could argue and argue until you were blue what an amazing person this loved one is. In the end, this stranger would simply reply, "well, that's your experience."

The only thing that can convince this stranger of the loved one's absolute love is if they experience that love for themselves. In the end, it is all up to God. That is why I have actually decided to not write about the a fore mentioned Chrysalis experience. It is only a story where my fellow Christians will nod their heads in understanding, and the non-believers will simply shake their heads mumbling that I just got caught up in the moment and lost my head. There is nothing that I could say that would convince anyone who didn't know me that the experience was real. That marvelous moment was between me and God with no audience. Simply know that it did happen, and I was changed by it.

And so, we follow Christ's example. We love as He loves. We teach what He taught. A lesson about evangelizing was taught at my church with the punch line: use your mouth as a last resort. The Enemy can fight back easily with the tongue (it is his specialty), but how can anyone argue against action? So, while you do the walkin', let God do the talkin'.