A Questioning Time

Good evening my friends. I certainly hope the holidays are treating you well.

It is amazing what time will do to us. Here I am, months after my last post, with many new stories and familiar feelings. If I thought that nothing could best the summer in business, this past semester strongly argued against such thoughts. I smile because I generally think that I can do a lot, but I may have bitten off more than would have been lady-like to chew. I definitely learned a lot, most importantly about myself and my relationship with God. Admitting my faults as a Christian can't be done enough. This year has done nothing but remind me of the dire need that we all have of God. Without Him, what is there?

Mainly, I have been asking a lot of questions this year. I hope to be better about blogging, but I am not called to be a minister and to stand in front of people lecturing (although, I gave my first full sermon this semester. Another new story). I prefer the bible study setting where we all join together in fellowship and support. So, may I ask one thing of you? Let's let this be a place of conversation. The next few posts will be on my favorite Bible verse, the one at the head of this blog, and I will end with a question. I want so much to know what you think. And please, if there is anything any of you would like to explore, please let the rest of us know. If I have written anything in the past that is curious, feel free to bring it into question and/or conversation.

So, standing on the brink of another new year and reflecting upon the past, my experiences swirl around me to create a storm of thoughts. There are so many wonderful experiences and joys from this past year; so very many new things that I got to do like study abroad, work hard-core full time, write a novel and thesis, give a sermon, meet new friends and get to better know old ones. There were also many trying struggles like exhaustion and stress on all levels: physical, mental, and emotional. My favorite bible verse is what I feel drawn to at the moment.

Hebrews 11:1 "Now, faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."

Can we bring in the new year exploring this verse together?

WOW!

So, I have been an oober fail at blogging! I apologize tremendously for the long silence if there is anyone still out there following this. If there isn't, well, God is definitely enough of an audience.

Wow, so where do I begin?! The amount of adventures this summer have definitely stacked higher and higher than any three months in my life. It was definitely through the power of God that I made it through this past summer. I traveled abroad to New Zealand in May, took Genetics in June, and worked full time July through moving back to school, and took the PCAT the Saturday before moving back. I have learned so much and grown up some (I believe =P).

I think one reason I have done so horribly with this blog is because I want this to be the Lord's blog, and I admittedly grew apart from Him a little this summer. It is a difficult thing admitting, but I wish to declare it to myself, God, and everyone else out there to make a change. All summer, I could feel myself descending the Lord's mountain and a little while ago reached the bottom of the spiritual valley I am wondering. Going through these valleys is never fun, but as the Lord spots me while I start to ascend again, I am reminded that for everything there is an opposite:

For Life there is Death
For Light there is Dark
For Satiated there is Ravenous
For Joyfulness there is Depression
For a Spiritual High there is a Spiritual Low
For the Whispers of God there are the Billows of the Devil

One side of this list is God and the other is the World, the Devil, and we are the knot on the rope between these two forces. The good thing is that instead of a real tug-of-war knot that is at the mercy of the two forces, we have some power to dictate whose side we end up on: freewill.

We still have to contend with the war of these two sides, though. The World is such a persuasive side. It first throws dirt onto God's proposition. It points out all of the things that the strict Lord asks us not to do, how we become His servants, His slaves. Being a Christian is constant work, and we can be put in some pretty tough situations when our faith is tested. Next the World smears all of our shortcomings in our faces. When we fail God, when we give in to the World, the Devil throws his finger in our face and berates us with, "Look at what you did! How could you possibly be worth forgiveness? You failed again. You always fail. How could God possibly do anything with you because of your stubbornness and weakness? You are not a Christian; you are a fake, a hypocrite! And you know how much God detests hypocrites. You should just stop trying."

It is so tough at times, but we must realize that these thoughts are nothing but poison. The crazy thing about God is that we can go to Him for the 5,000th time, aching and bawling on our hands and knees declaring our shame from the failure, and He will get down on the ground, help our sniveling selves up with His scarred hands, and while embracing us in His loving arms, declare, "what failure, my beloved child?"

No matter where we've gone over the summer, I hope we can start afresh together.

When the Theater is Empty, What Are You Going to Do?

I love movies! It is a past-time of my family that I have come to fully enjoy. I really don't watch a lot of TV, but movies...o that is my weakness. You see, TV shows don't seem to cut it as much for me as movies do. I like deep plots, dynamic characters, and watching a story develop completely, and TV shows just don't seem to have enough time or material to satisfy. Don't get me wrong, there are times when I just want to veg. in front of the TV after a long day, but I am never as content as watching a full movie.

It is also fun to sit back and see the trends of movies. I think it would make an interesting study to look at the movie trends and compare them to the societal situations of the time. A while back, we had superheroes, next are vampires and werewolves (monsters), and now there seem to be a lot of apocalyptic/god movies coming out. Recently, we have seen The Day the Earth Stood Still, Terminator: Salvation, 2012, Zombieland, The Book of Eli, Legion, Clash of the Titans, Percy Jackson, Knowing...and I am sure I am missing some. Movie after movie is resonating with an end of times (or humanity) theme.

How is our movie playing out? Are we sensing an end? We have had a catastrophic amount of natural disasters, the tension of international and local political clashing is all around us, the economy is giving us troubles...we are basically going through some really really tough and scary times. On the Discovery and History channels, there are more and more shows about surviving end-of-the-world disasters, what the earth will be like after humans, studies on Revelations, and a search for the Antichrist. People seem to be focusing more and more on the end times...and this bothers me.

I keep hearing about people trying to predict the end. I have a quote for that: " ³⁶No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son,^f]">[f] but only the Father...If the owner of the house had known at what time of night the thief was coming, he would have kept watch and would not have let his house be broken into. ⁴⁴So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him." (Jesus, Matthew 24:36-44). If Jesus doesn't even know when the end is, how in the world do we?! I personally like the idea that 2012 is the biggest prank pulled on the world, or the poor Mayan who was calculating all of that got tired.

And the search for the Antichrist, what will you do once he/she is found? If you believe that the Antichrist is coming, then you've got to believe in everything else in Revelation, which means that there is nothing you can do.

The biggest thing that is troubling me is the reason behind our calculating and searching of the end (and I understand that I am being very brutal here): we don't want to follow God until we have to.

Why else would we want to know when He is coming? I think people are consumed by the end of times notion because they want to do their own thing until it is time to get saved and get it right. This idea breaks my heart! The best way to not worry about the end times is to live like they are here right now, to realize that it isn't like jumping on a train last minute as it is leaving the station. Following Jesus is a life change, not the type of decision where you are deciding to have Devil's Food Cake or Ange'sl Food Cake. Jesus even told us to live a Christian life NOW, "⁴⁵Who then is the faithful and wise servant, whom the master has put in charge of the servants in his household to give them their food at the proper time? ⁴⁶It will be good for that servant whose master finds him doing so when he returns." (Matthew 24:45-46) We don't know and will never know the exact time that the world will end.

Look at Revelation and the description of the end times as a test. If you believe that it will happen, that the world will end at some point, then I urge you to not leave the King in the shadows because the shadows and He will catch up with you. The predictions are warnings, and you should heed them now instead of waiting for them to happen. I know, I struggle with the curiosity as well, but I really think that we need to leave this end of the world business with God and God alone. We have no power to change what has been set down by the Creator, all we can do is just follow Him. And I know that if we follow the script, our movie will have the happiest of endings!

The Olympian Spirit

Do you know what I see?
I see Unity
of People
of a Nation
of a World
I see Celebration
of Culture
of Athletes
of People
I see Barriers
break down
I see Connections
indurate
I see Five Rings
bound together
everlasting
enduring
I see a Flame
upon a torch
in all hearts
passed on
I see the Olympian Spirit
That is what I see.

There is almost nothing more inspiring than the Olympics. It is the one place where borders, language, and culture melt away to reveal our common love for games, team work, and the challenge of being the best that we can be. Nothing about the Olympics is easy. The host country spends years of preparation, unbelievable amounts of money on it, and unmeasurable man hours. The athletes devote nearly their entire lives to their sport. But with all of the costs and challenges of the Olympics, it is all worth it.

When the world turns into nothing but one big game, I think God smiles. When people from 82 different countries can celebrate (or mourn the passing of a great young athlete, Nodar Kumaritashvili) as one spirit, God's creation is shining with His glory.

REsolution

Well, it's been a while! I hope you are all doing well. Christmas and New Years brought excitement, rest, goodies, loved ones, and enough food to keep me occupied through the spring...haha, thank goodness for holidays, right?

Last year's end was definitely different for me. Tragedy dealt my family a pretty hard hand in the fall, and to be honest, I struggled with my holiday spirit. It seems like everyone has gladly said good riddance to 2009.

I hate to deem it a completely bad year, though. I can definitely say that I have learned a few lessons from last year, and perhaps the best thing that happened was that I became closer to
God.

And now, we are sitting at the beginning of a new year, and resolutions are made...

We always talk about our New Year's Resolutions in a joking and secretly dreading manner. It seems that most people see resolutions as daunting, impossible goals that have to be set at too high of a par. We then psyche ourselves up for the ultimate failure of these resolutions by February. What a bummer! To add to this tsunami of guilt, there are all of the diet programs, fitness programs, and self-help programs that claim to offer a new and easy way to survive your resolutions, but really they are just looking for a profit. It is so funny to count how many resolutions are commercialized on TV right now! I'd have to say that my favorite is still the button-busting Subway commercial from last year.

Have you ever looked up "resolution" on Dictionary.com? I was surprised to get 12 definitions for the word! There is the legal resolution, like the president being declared...there is the goal resolution, like New Year's Resolution...and there is the optical resolution, like clarity. Also, most of the definitions were related to a state of mind, to resolve. Thinking back on my resolutions, I don't think that I had the resolve to complete them. I also thought of my resolutions as goals instead of a mentality.

So, I invite you to join me on my resolution experiment ("and, if you try this method, I'll throw in an ULTIMATE SUPER SECRET CHEAT to keeping your resolution!" haha) To start with, there are two parts to our resolutions; the "resolute" part and the "tion" part

Let's start with the "tion" part, the action...

Before you make any resolutions this year, take what you want to change and find out WHY you want to change it. How about that cliche resolution to get in better shape? Ultimately, we just want to be happier with ourselves, right? And in a society that is completely physical, outward appearances seem like the best thing to change. Now, don't think that I am suggesting that we not take care of our God given bodies! Goodness no! I still have the resolution to get in better shape. The only difference this year is that I don't have a size or weight goal; I just want to be proud of the person in the mirror. (I am also using the ULTIMATE SUPER SECRET CHEAT)

Another thing to realize is that most of the resolutions we make, no matter how much we wish they weren't, are really long-term and don't have a quick fix. I think that what really trips us up in February is that we are tired and not seeing any improvement. Boy, wouldn't it be nice if we had that model's body on the commercial after only a month of work! Sadly, that body of theirs came from years of work and continuous maintenance. Sorry, but getting in shape is a life-time resolution. Don't be discouraged by this, though! Do you throw your morals in the air and just give up after every sin? No. You ask for forgiveness and then continue trying to be a good child of God. It ties back to the first point of knowing why you are following the resolution. Another of my resolutions is to have a "now" attitude in that I will really try to not procrastinate and also enjoy the moment. Now, if I am to be practical, I know that I will procrastinate some this year and complain about having to do something, but I hope to look back and be able to say, "Well, Amanda, you didn't procrastinate as much this year, and it was a good year, huh. Good job! Keep up the good work!"

So, know the what and the why of our resolutions. Know our resolutions like the back of our hands. Know our motivations and fears. When he was asked what we should study for the test, my old Physics professor would answer, "know everything." Knowing is a very important half of the battle and will drastically help with living our resolutions. Let's try to see our resolutions as a new beginning and adventure instead of the latest way to torture ourselves.

Now, what about the other half of the battle, the resolute?

Here is the ULTIMATE SUPER SECRET CHEAT that will give you the boost, confidence, and strength that you need to live your resolutions: God. That's right! God, Jesus, Holy Spirit...He created you, so who would be a better person to help change you? He offers 24/7 support, unfathomable love, and a great desire for you to be happy. He is also the best accountability buddy because He always has time. My number one resolution is to be a better listener and follower of God. When I devote everything, even my resolutions, to Him, nothing seems impossible! I know that Jesus, the guy who defeated death, can definitely help me defeat a few extra pounds or patience issues. God and I sat down before the new year and developed what looks like a great game plan. Pray about your resolutions, and I know that you and God can work it out. As I said, it is the ultimate cheat. And it's free!

So, good luck, and happy new year!